The End of the Therapeutic Relationship

(Read about the beginning and the middle of the therapeutic relationship.)

No therapeutic relationship should last forever. The helper only accompanies the client on part of their journey towards a more fulfilled life. Although it is difficult to predict the length of the therapeutic process, both client and helper need to recognise that there comes a point where their relationship should be terminated. As discussed earlier, the middle of the therapeutic relationship of the therapeutic relationship.) ends when the client has built their self-esteem, internalised their locus of evaluation, and generally feels OK about themselves, accepting themselves as a person of value with their own weaknesses and strengths. There comes a time when the client knows they will be able to do the rest by themselves, without the helper’s support. The end of the therapeutic relationship is characterised by taking action. This is a direct result of the client’s self-acceptance achieved in the middle of the relationship, and their focus of evaluation being internalised by then. The client might be pleased with their new, more confident self, but there can also be a sense of disappointment as they realise that this still doesn’t mean life will be easy from now on.

Sometimes the client ends the therapeutic relationship prematurely, even without previous warning or explanation. They might pretend, or even believe that all their problems are solved. If possible, the helper should invite the client to explore the wider implications of their presenting problems further.

The helper needs to prepare the client for a timely ending. They need to discuss whether there is still unfinished business to attend to. They need to agree on when to terminate the relationship, leaving the possibility of reviewing or even re-starting it in the future if necessary. When reviewing the therapeutic process, the client should reach cognitive understanding of what has happened to them during the process: what changes took place; what actions they have taken or are going to take as a consequence of these changes.

Often both client and helper can only truly understand and appreciate what happened during the therapeutic process after some time has passed, and they are experiencing the longer-term impacts of it. It is very useful for both helper and client if they meet again after a period of time, and give feedback to each other on their experiences of the process and its longer-term consequences in their lives.

The helper has to appreciate that they are only a small part of the client’s life experience, there are many other people with whom the client has all kinds of different relationships that each have their own effects on the client’s life. Both client and helper’s personal development is a lifelong process.